Welcome to this short meditation, written from my heart, to lovingly support and encourage those embarking on the healing journey of GAPS – for your own recovery or the recovery of someone you love. I hope my words hold you, or embolden you, and that you continue to use meditation as a comfort and compliment to your unique recovery process. These meditations will be written as a series, and will soon be recorded with original music for an alternative supportive experience.
So here you are now, friend. Whatever you bring to this moment – the breath, the body, the heartbeat, the heartbreak- pause in this space- and gently, notice it. Begin to let go of internal narratives – surrender the stories surrounding why you’re here, and allow the mental monologues to float away – like a cloud.
Inhale. Exhale. In the quiet, in the space you’ve created, begin to feel the weight of your body fully supported by the earth. Let your shoulders melt down, just a degree more, let your breath usher in a softness. Just. A degree. More. Drink in the air, however it comes to you, let it draw you in to a deeper stillness. Inhale. Exhale. Let the breath return you to yourself. Fully – completely – arrive.
Imagine a stone, dropping through your center, lower and lower, to where the water is placid inside you. Where the ancient wisdom of your ancestors pools, and waits, beneath the tyranny of sickness… in the stillness – in the depth. Here, residing, is your source. Your well to draw upon again and again – your cistern of enough.
And here you are now, sojourner, seeker, survivor of what have beens – seer of what could be’s. You have traveled across cindering scenarios, pushed your way through their smoke that sometimes shades your mind, to arrive here, in the GAP. A space between sickness and strength, a valley of decision, a battleground of hope.
What pain has led you here? Body, bone, head, heart – healer or healing one, carrying the scent of suffering – how precious, how strong, and how sacred you are.
It is not written in a stone- the struggle, the sickness, the diagnosis that breaks your heart – you are author of ending- all renewal, all creative life resides inside you like a seed – and this is why you’re here.
For the more. For the as it should be, the apprehending of your life. Some time, you have sensed it, the regenerative force within you – a hope against hope and yet – some time you have believed it – the ability to restore.
See-er. Why after all you’ve come through, do you stand bravely in the ash? It is for the rising, dear one, for the good ground to be taken, for freedom and newness of life. And you have glimpsed it – even in the dark – that rising embodied by you. That becoming, embodied by your children. You have been kept, by hope.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Let imagination spark and flicker behind your eyelids and do not, hold, back. Licks of light- streaming into every crack – golden, glowing -let the flame of hope begin to wound you. Stay in your body, stay tender in the moment, do not self protect and billows of desire roll in. Wave upon wave, wave upon wave, the tide of longing for healing, for all your own to return.
Your clear mind – returned – your peaceful heart – returned. Body that serves you rather than punishes you – returned. Thriving rather than surviving – Return. Disarm your doubt with tremendous, swelling desire for vitality to return. Return. Return. Return.
Let your hope be ferocious.
And here you are now healer, in the womb of the GAP, embarking on a journey towards your own deliverance. Breathe in, smoothly, let your heart expand with courage. Breathe out, smoothly and completely, expel apathy and doubt.
Inhale. Belief. Exhale. The things you need to let go. Let your breath be like a tide.
May you find energy where you are weary, grace where you’ve been pressed. May you find strength where you’ve had weakness, may your ears be continually tuned to your deep knowing. May you find guidance and support – may you rise up in strength if you fall. May your body, soul and spirit unite to ransom your life from sickness – may all things be made new.
This is your portion, healing one, if you will believe it – your birthright and the birthright of your children is renewal. Renewal. A returning to ancient traditions, to inner wisdom, to the fullest functioning of your body, and the greatest peace of your good mind. You are standing up to exchange what is commonly accepted for the road less traveled – may you walk the path completely toward a recovered, a whole, and a beautifully ransomed life.
Grace to you.